Peter Lyle, minister of Ballyholme congregation reflects on the challenge of fragile confidence in the wake of the chaos and how a positive faith in God, rather than surrendering to a gloomy fearfulness, can help us move forward in mind, heart and action.

Butchered or pruned?

I’m forever chopping at plants, bushes and trees in our back garden. It must have something to do with my neat and tidy streak. So it was that I tackled the large Magnolia bush that sits opposite our kitchen window in the early winter of 2019. I chopped, hacked and cut like a samurai warrior in full battle. When I stood back and surveyed my work I remember thinking, Uh oh! The term that came to mind was butchered. What remained was a knot of twisted bare branches. Like the burning bush without the fire or leaves, it didn’t look very impressive or pretty. “But it’s to do with my neat and tidy streak”, I said in defence to my wife. She was convinced I’d permanently destroyed the bush. By mid-summer however, it was looking stronger than ever with rich green leaves so numerous that you couldn’t see through it.

Do you remember Jesus talking with his disciples at the last supper? In the coming hours they were going to face a devastating trauma as their world appeared to collapse around them with Jesus’ betrayal, arrest, trial and crucifixion. All the achievements and momentum of the previous three years apparently swept away. As they sat around the table, Jesus told them about a vine of which every branch that bears fruit the Gardener (God the Father) prunes so that it will be even more fruitful (John 15:1-17).

Confidence and hope dented

Is it possible that the Covid-19 pandemic has brought with it the most serious pruning the church has experienced in generations? Not even World War 2 interrupted church services, but we have had two extended shut downs and one shorter one. Now we are worshipping with reduced numbers, serving with reduced volunteers and ministering with exhausted leaders.

If we’re honest many of us are reeling and filled with uncertainty, our confidence shaken and fragile. Like the disciples on the Emmaus Road following the crucifixion in Luke chapter 24 verses 13-35, we wonder what the point of all of this has been as we see years of hard work. Attempts to speak into a rapidly changing culture and the resulting achievements and momentum, arising from much prayer, may feel like they have been swept away.

You can almost hear the echoes from Emmaus Road, ‘He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people … we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place’ (Luke 24:19-21). Like them, whatever we believed before, now appears dented and on top of this comes all the talk of this being a new normal and, well you know, it’s all become a bit wearing.

Battling against glass half empty syndrome

For me, this is the shape of a perfect storm. Gloomy talk, uncertainty and some evidence to support the gloomy talk and uncertainty. I say this because I battle with glass half empty syndrome. I really don’t like it, but for a long time it appeared to be the way I am wired. I’ve had a catch phrase which has hampered and hindered many opportunities. It goes like this, “the only problem is…” and it brings yet another idea crashing down. It’s the fingers burned scenario, experience deflating my confidence and leaving it like a helium balloon, three weeks after the party - all droopy and hanging low.

However, for me, the period of the pandemic has seen a determined change, alongside a fervent prayer that I deliberately choose to seek the light in life instead of the darkness. This was a lesson that came out of my sabbatical in 2019 when I decided that I would say yes to every opportunity that came my way and subsequently experienced the Lord’s blessing in remarkable and powerful ways.

When I look through the Bible, our relationship with God is described by words like strength, shield, rock, fortress, firm and secure. These are not fragile sounding words. They suggest to me that my confidence in the Lord, should be expectant and strong no matter what happens. In Psalm 27, verse 3, David says, ‘though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident’

Focusing on Jesus in the storm

But how do we stop ourselves from needing to be labelled with a Fragile, handle with care sticker? As with so many things, it takes us right back to the basics, like the lesson of the story of Jesus walking out to the disciples on Lake Galilee (Matthew 14:22-32). They are terrified and believe they are seeing a ghost. In the midst of this Jesus comes with the calming words, ‘take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’ Their ongoing uncertainty and doubt leads to Peter walking out on the water towards Jesus. As he does, he starts to notice what’s going on around him, the wind and waves. The moment he takes his eyes off the Lord, he sinks into the water. To keep walking, to remain strong, to fan our confidence we need to keep our eyes on Jesus.

I’ve grown tired of my tendency to be like my name sake and to see the wind and waves around me. So I’ve chosen to listen less to the news and instead to God’s words, opting to look for the signs of life, light and hope.

A quiet confidence in the chaos

While our current congregational circumstances are probably not showing signs of the spectacular, many of us have seen the shoots of new opportunities budding as the church embraces new challenges with creativity and new focus. Who knows what these shoots will grow into?

When Joseph was sold into slavery, the Egyptians increased the burden on the Israelites, David faced Goliath, the exiles mourned over singing the Lord’s song in a strange land, persecution broke out against the early church and Jesus hung on the cross - in what appeared to be a great loss, God was doing something remarkable out of which came something rich, wonderful and stronger. Our God remains the same.

So at this time of what might look like to us like bare, chopped away branches we can expect new growth and new fruit. Of that we can be confident.

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