Listening
Once a year, my husband and I lead the pre-marriage course in our church, using resources from Care for the Family. Although designed for those about to embark on the journey of married life, the course serves as a good reminder for us each year about the basics of enjoying a healthy marriage. One key ingredient in this is good communication.
Three ‘don’ts’ are advised: don’t assume; don’t trivialise; and don’t interrupt. In many ways these pieces of advice could be summed up with the phrase ‘listening well’. It is a powerful thing to speak and be heard; to have the full attention of another who is hanging on our every word without judgement.
This month, the subject of listening pops up several times. Deborah Sloan explores a Christian charity called Active Listening that works with the PSNI to support people in crisis. One volunteer says the service allows individuals to “release feelings and tensions because all they really need is someone to give them that freedom, encouragement and hope.”
During a year that celebrates 100 years of the Irish Council of Churches, its General Secretary, Damian Jackson, outlines the history pertinent to its formation. At a service marking the special anniversary, Damian quotes Archbishop Eamon Martin whose address focused on how Churches could practice hope and humility in today’s Ireland. One of his suggestions involved intentional listening. He wondered if Churches could “work together to create spaces for dialogue at parish, congregation and community level so that all voices can be fully heard about the kind of society and values we want for our children and grandchildren.”
In another article, Pip Florit reports on the work of PCI’s Friendship House in south Belfast where volunteers are working with asylum seekers housed in hotels in the area. Coming from a range of countries, including Egypt, Kuwait, Yemen and Algeria, she says, “The staff don’t ask anyone to share their story, acknowledging that many have come from traumatic circumstances, but there is always a listening ear for anyone who wants to talk.” This attentive listening is clearly displaying openness, warmth and love to those who need it.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer once wrote, “The first service one owes to others in the community involves listening to them. Just as our love for God begins with listening to God’s Word, the beginning of love for other Christians is learning to listen to them.” In today’s ‘me culture’ that is more focused on shouting our own views rather than acknowledging the voices and opinions of others, the Christian act of listening well should shine like a beacon of light, conveying the love and care of God to those around us.
The Presbyterian Herald is the official magazine of the Presbyterian Church in Ireland. It provides a forum for debate and discussion on a wide range of topics and aims to challenge and encourage Presbyterians, as well as inform them about what the wider Church is involved in. It has a readership in excess of 25,000 and is distributed throughout Ireland.
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