As women (and men) we are needy! Maybe we don’t like to think of ourselves that way, we much prefer being needed. But if we are honest, in some way or other we are needy. In a world where independence is rated much higher than interdependence, most of us struggle to admit our need, or even worse, to ask for help.
Sadly, this independent culture has spilled over into our Christian lives and quite often, for some, church life can be a lonely experience. I recently had a conversation with someone who had been going to a particular church for over two years but still came away from large and small group meetings feeling isolated and alone. It wasn’t that people didn’t greet her, it wasn’t that they didn’t invite her to things, it wasn’t even that they didn’t know her name. They did all that very well. No, it was just that it didn’t go any deeper than that. She was in a place where she needed more. Life was hard. Sadly, in her desperation she turned to a secular group for support and help. My heart broke.
No matter what our circumstances, we all need encouragement, affirmation and an honest sense of belonging to the body of Christ. That’s how we’re made, and that’s how God created us. God’s Word clearly assigns each of us the task of encouragement, support and to have love for one another;
And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:23
As individuals we are not just needy, we are also needed. So often we think being needy is weakness yet in God’s view, it’s when we are weak that he is strong. If only we could overcome our fear and allow ourselves to bare our weaknesses, as well as bear the weaknesses of others as we walk side by side each other. Paul urges us as Christians to…
... encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing…
... encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14
And again he says,
Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for yourselves have been taught by God to love each other …yet we urge you, do so more and more. 1 Thessalonians 4: 9.
Paul longed that each member of the body of Christ in Thessalonica, (no matter what age or stage of life), would be active in building others up and showing real love as they walked the path of faith, as they lived life together in that corner of his church. And this wasn’t something they were to do for a while and then stop. It wasn’t a one off ministry or new theme for the year, this was to be a way of life and they were to keep on doing it more and more.
Walking side by side others isn’t just for a limited group of people. Paul wasn’t speaking to a few experts but to ordinary people like you and me. Ed Welch encourages us to remember that God wants to use us, he writes,
“If you feel quite weak and ordinary-if you feel like a mess but have the Spirit- you have the right credentials. You are one of the ordinary people God uses to help others.
Side by side, Ed Welch (Crossway)
As we look forward to the autumn and our four Side by Side events we will have the opportunity to explore how we can be women who build each other up. Together we want to find fresh ways to walk side by side each other, more and more.
Side by Side – Tickets are almost sold out for Side by Side, a women’s ministry event taking place in multiple venues this autumn: Assembly Buildings, Belfast on 7 September; Richhill Presbyterian on 21 September; Wellington Presbyterian, Ballymena on 5 October; and Kilfennan Presbytreian on 19 October. There are only a small number of tickets left for some of the locations so please call the office to check availability.
This will be an opportunity for women from across our congregations to come together to discuss, share, encourage and inspire one another to develop and go deeper in their relationships with other women at different stages of their life in Christ.
For more information click here or call the CLW office on +44 (0)28 9041 7247.
Pauline Kennedy is Women's Ministry & PW Development Officer. She is responsible for supporting the ministry of Presbyterian Women, as well as assisting in the development of strategy and coordination of women’s ministry in general.