Looking back
Now we know in part
The last six months have taught me in so many different ways how little I really know. So many of the things that I thought I knew have been turned upside down. I ‘knew’ how church life worked from week to week. I ‘knew’ I had church services to prepare for and attend every Sunday. I ‘knew’ I was basically free to go where I wanted when I wanted. I ‘knew’ I could choose to go out for a meal or see a film in the cinema. Then all these things, and so many more, that I thought I ‘knew’ were suddenly changed.
I have had to learn how to do my job in different ways. I have had to learn all kinds of new skills in technology. I have learned to ‘zoom’ and ‘post’ things that previously for me meant fast driving and letters. Beyond those practical challenges I have been learning more difficult lessons. My wife Janice works as a nurse and we have no children, so when lockdown happened I was at home alone and confined much more than normal. I found that difficult and came to know a little of what it meant to deal with loneliness really for the first time in my life.
Now we see a poor reflection as in a mirror
If I had a Euro for every time I have used or heard the word ‘strange’ used in conversations I would be able to go on a luxury holiday somewhere (if only such things were still possible). How we are living our lives now and doing church now is beyond what any of us would ever have imagined last Christmas. Assumptions about what ‘normal life’ is have changed.
In many ways life now seems like a poor reflection of what it was. We can’t get close to shake hands or hug the people that we would love to share affection with. We have to think carefully about visiting the shops, going for a coffee or seeing a neighbour. We have been fortunate enough to be able to open our church buildings in the past eight weeks but even that is but a poor reflection of what it was, with roped off pews, masked faces, no singing and distant conversations.
Now these three remain
I have found myself being much more emotional over the past few months than I would ever normally be. I have been lonely. I have been anxious. Anxious about Janice working in the hospital. Anxious about the impact Covid-19 is going to have on life and on church life going forward.
I have been frustrated sometimes with computers and internet, sometimes with church members’ seeming lack of interest, sometimes with the whole world that seems beyond my control.
I have been deeply touched by support and encouragement received from faithful and beloved brothers and sisters in Christ. I have been delighted by the opportunities that have been possible through online ministry. I have felt downcast and despondent on some days and refreshed and relaxed on others.
I have needed to continually come back to these three huge pillars at the centre of my life; faith, hope and love. More than ever I have needed a Christ-centred focus in the midst of all the chaos. My faith is still firmly rooted in the Lord who sits on the throne. In a world where the future feels so uncertain and bleak I have had to make sure that my hope is in the Lord. I gave my life to him as a teenager and I have continued to trust him day by day. To love him who first loved me is my ongoing purpose whether living in lockdown, coping with restrictions or living ‘normal’ life.
Looking forward
Now we know in part
Now I find myself being so much more aware of how little I know. I don’t really know how Covid-19 will affect my life in the next week, month or year. I don’t know how much will be possible in church life and how much will have to be limited or stop. I don’t know how the lack of church activity will affect the lives of the flock under my care. I don’t know when I will feel comfortable in a crowd or visiting the home of an elderly parishioner. I don’t know when I will be able to stand in a church service and belt out a great hymn of praise.
‘Knowing’ less should hopefully force me to lean more on the one who holds the future and who knows all things. As I lean on him I have the opportunity to come to know all things; all the things that really matter.
Now we see a poor reflection as in a mirror
Having my life turned upside down and back to front gives me an opportunity to truly seek and pursue what really matters in life. I don’t just want that to be a cliché. What an opportunity we have to step away from the secular consumerism that has governed so much of our thinking and doing. What an opportunity to move on from the routines and patterns of church life that so often seemed like poor reflections of true Christian worship and community and pursue a clearer vision of what it means to be God’s worshipping people. What a time to set our focus ever more directly on the most excellent way as Christ leads us forward into his future.
These three remain
According to Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, life here and now is always a partial reflection of what it should be and will be. I need to continually come back to these three huge pillars at the centre of my life; faith, hope and love - because these are the things that remain.
More than ever I need a Christ-centred focus in the midst of all the chaos.
A faith that is firmly in Christ.
A hope based on his work at Calvary and the fulfilment of his promises.
A singular commitment to the most excellent way of love.
Rev Stephen Richmond is minister of Donegal Town and Stranorlar Presbyterian churches.
This is the penultimate blog in the These Three Remain series to help members and congregations during the Coronavirus pandemic.
Visit the These Three Remain hub here.