Loving together
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
The heaviness of the pandemic period
Reflecting on the experience of the pandemic, it is hard to think of a period in living memory in which life seemed to be so burdensome for everyone at the same time. In each one of our individual lives, we experience seasons that stretch us as circumstances unfold that are disruptive and difficult, but this was different. No one was left unaffected. Everyone had to deal with the common challenges of lockdown and restrictions on the way we live our normal lives.
Nevertheless, everyone’s particular experience of what was a long two years was also different. For those who live on their own lockdown brought an extraordinary isolation. For others, being cooped up at home with loved ones brought unusual strains and stresses to family life. Some workers were furloughed or even lost their jobs, while others found themselves busier than ever and working around the clock.
Everyday difficulties made things we usually do without a second thought suddenly so much more complicated and challenging.
A heightened pastoral awareness
Suddenly we all knew what it was like to feel the isolation of a long day without contact with anyone outside the home, not to be able to attend church, to feel our health vulnerable.
As congregations, we began to appreciate more fully the particular challenges faced by the young, old, parents, someone who struggles with their mental health or general wellbeing.
The positive outcome of this set of circumstances was that congregations quickly recognised need and felt compelled to rise to the challenge of finding new and creative ways to reach out to support one another, even when restrictions kept us all at arm’s length.
A healthy deepening of our life as a pastoral community
All of this became a helpful corrective to the ways we often live in our increasingly individualistic society. With more space and time to listen to one another and learn what one another’s circumstances were, the quality of our pastoral care and prayer in church community was deepened and strengthened. In many cases, a burden shared really did become a burden halved, as we both benefited from the support of others and contributed to helping those especially in need.
The prolonged impact of the pandemic edged us beyond being the provider of pastoral care in crisis situations to becoming a pastoral community looking out for and supporting one another on a weekly basis.
Holding on to simple things we have learned
So now we are back together again and life has picked up pace, how can we hold on to what we have learned about loving together in our church family? There might be real benefit in reflecting on how we retain these four things.
First of all, making and taking time to just talk to one another. During the less busy periods of lockdown, doing so significantly enriched the quality of our relationships with one another.
Then, making and taking time to listen to one another. Really listening is hard work. To get beyond the superficial to share how we are really feeling and experiencing life takes a while for most of us, along with a necessary confidence that others actually care.
Thirdly, extending the range of ways of keeping in touch with one another in short, simple communication seemed to offer a range of strings to our pastoral bow. Of course it was best to visit in-person, but when we couldn’t, the power of the phone call, text or digital connection came into its own.
Finally, the power of a simple, tangible, act of kindness, such as dropping off a gift bag for either young or old that showed that we were thinking of one another in the church family seemed to have an impact that was disproportionate to the effort it required.
All of this may suggest that previously we too often assumed that people knew we cared, but that love for one another is really only deeply felt and appreciated when it is expressed and experienced in practical ways.
Rev David Thompson is Secretary of the Council for Congregational Life and Witness.